Welcome to Xeata's Red Lotus

"My mom calls me her Dreamer."

She said this as she stared off into the bright colors of the setting sun. She ruffled her red hair through her fingers, and the sunlight sparkled off her freckled nose.

"When I was a child, I had 'invisible friends.' I got very upset when people would call them imaginary friends. I have always had a wild imagination and I knew that, but this was different. I didn't imagine these invisible friends—I just couldn't see them."

She looked into my eyes. I could see little flecks of gray and blue in her irises.

"Gradually I let go of those friends because I was 'growing up.' It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I realized again that those 'invisible friends' were real. They were the voices of the trees, the water, the seasons. They always whispered, and everything they said was loving, supportive, encouraging me to love the nature around me. They gently guided me in taking care of my world and myself, and they even understood that I had to let them go. I had to grow up, and I had to go through the process to find them again."

Her hands shuffled a beautiful, intricate deck of cards. They were adorned with symbols that I could feel meant the world to her. They were a clear sign that she had moved on from letting the world tell her who she should be and into being herself. She laid the cards face down.

"Now I feel their energy in my cards. I think the woman who created this deck knows my old friends. ️She has told their stories through these cards, and they sing to me."

She flipped the cards and smiled warmly. Then she lovingly offered me exactly what she had described her invisible friends offering her: loving guidance and support for the journey ahead of me.

She flipped the Queen of Fire. The card matched the colors in the sky in front of us and told the story of a heart lit up with love, passion and power. It was flecked with flashes of light, again pointing to these invisible friends who are here for every one of us. They are the still, small voice that reminds us to be kind and loving. They are the feeling that says this isn't safe, pay very close attention, but keep going forward. They offer the calm hypnosis of a flickering candle. There are doorways that need to be stepped through, and they must be stepped through with confidence—confidence in yourself, in the magic you have to offer, and in your guides.

She left me with the gift of a practice, and I offer it to you:

"Do this when you have a bit of time and you do not have to be anywhere. Light a candle—just a tea light is fine, or whatever kind of candle you like. Turn out all other lights. Breathe gently; you don't want to blow it out. Just stare at the flame as it flickers. Notice the colors and the rhythm of the flicker. Notice if you can hear the flame. Notice how it affects its environment: the melted wax, the warmth, the light. Allow yourself to zone out. Don't worry about the thoughts that move through; some will carry you away, and then the flame will shift and pull you back. The first time you think, 'Okay, I am good on this experiment,' ask yourself to stay a little longer. See how long you can stay. When you are ready to leave the candle, I hope you are feeling strong. If it has not yet burned out, blow it out and watch the smoke. Smile, thank the flame for its cleansing power, and take two deep breaths."

️the deck referenced here is, The Good Tarot by Colette Baron Reid. This deck has always spoken to me the loudest it's imagery has inspired many characters and stories in my writing and it is my go to deck for readings. My hope is that as I move into this world of card creation that my cards will one day speak to people the way her cards speak to me.️

Thank you - Namaste